first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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