whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
