Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
