He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
