They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize