Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
