I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
