I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
