Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
