This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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