Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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