Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
