I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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