Michael Bay diarrhea
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
