i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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