Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
