drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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