Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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