How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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