In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I didn't notice because vodka
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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