my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
