Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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