I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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