So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
