If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
