Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
