This girl is more easily done than said...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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