I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she smelled like a LAN party
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
