so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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