Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm too high and old for this...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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