idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
