office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
