I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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