Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We're too hungover to prance.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
