you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
