Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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