Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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