your thong is hanging out like whoa
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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