So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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