Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
