sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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