I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
