I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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