it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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