i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
