I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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