fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
