just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
