If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
