It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
