I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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