Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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