Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
