Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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