ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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