oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize