dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
