College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
