No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
