Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
