So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize