I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
