Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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