she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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