So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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