she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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