Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
