Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
